Ramen of Death
by le dark asylum
Summary: ever heard of COMBUSTIvE FOOD POISONING?


"Huh?" said Naruto as he and Sakura walked in the entrance of the Hidden Leaf Village. "What's with the big line?" There was a crowd of people surrounding a colorful restaurant.

"Let's check it out," said Sakura. They elbowed they're way through the crowd, not caring about the complaints of others. They're mouths fell agape as the restaurant was much, much bigger on the inside than the outside.

A waitress garbed in black and a green apron greeted Naruto and Sakura. She had an ear and nose piercing, wore mascara, and pale skin.

"How may I help you?" she asked in a happy tone. Naruto's hair seemed to stand on end; he didn't expect such a joyful person to be wearing that stuff.

"Uh…" said Naruto in complete shock.

"Ugh. Can't you do anything?" Sakura shook her head. "We just came here to check it out. We're really not hungry. C'mon Naruto, let's-"

"UNACCEPTABLE!" shouted the waitress. She grabbed the two by the back of their shirt and tossed them into a chair, forcing them a menu list.

"…Well…as long as we're here…" mumbled Sakura. Naruto looked at the list.

"Hey! There's only one thing on the menu. Secret…soup ramen?"

"Yuppers. Secret soup ramen," said the waitress.

"I…think I'll pass on the noodles," said Sakura.

"HEY, ONE RAMEN, ON THE DOUBLE!" exclaimed the waitress to the chef.

Sakura waited until she left to speak to Naruto. "Hey, have you noticed anything weird here?"

"What do you mean, Sakura-chan?"

"Well, one, did you see how persistent the waitress was for us to eat here? And how there's only one thing on the menu?"

"Yeah, I kind of noticed that. But that still doesn't seem so bad."

"Okay then, look around you. What do you see?" she asked.

"Whoa. I didn't see that everyone in the village is here!" In fact, Naruto was right. The restaurant was big enough for a lot of people, and everyone was there, from Kakashi to Gaara.

"Oooh! My ramen is here!" exclaimed Naruto with a drooling mouth. The ramen was bubbling, and the noodles were in a weird hue of purple. Sakura winced at the rank smell of the so-called "noodle."

"I wouldn't eat that if I were…you," said Sakura. But it was too late. By three minutes, the ramen was finished and in Naruto's stomach. Sakura ran out the shop, totally disgusted.

"I think I'll step out for a minute," grumbled Sakura. She took a walk around the village, but no one was there. It was as if the place was deserted.

_They're all probably eating that revolting glob of crap,_ thought Sakura. After a while, seeing no one was there to talk to her, she decided that she should go check on Naruto.

Sakura suddenly heard out in the distance loud popping and screaming; it was coming from the noodle shop. Sakura ran to the restaurant as fast as she could, hopping across rooftops and scampering on wires.

By the time she got there, she could see small traces of blood on the sidewalk. _Oh no, I hope that Naruto is-_

"AAAAAUGH!" screeched Sakura as she observed what she saw. Crimson blood was covering the bright wallpaper, and the waitress and cook were nowhere to be seen. But the worst of it was that everyone's stomach was open and bleeding, as if something exploded from the inside of their intestines.

"What the hell happened here?" mumbled Sakura to herself.

"Sakura…" Naruto moaned in the corner. It appeared that his stomach took the worst of the pain, for he had eaten over a dozen bowls of the poisonous ramen.

"Oh my God, Naruto. What happened her?" Sakura asked as she held Naruto.

"I… don't know… I was eating the ramen, and then the waitress came out with a remote. She pushed the red button and…" Naurto's head fell, and he was dead.

"Oh, well this sucks," said Sakura. She dropped Naruto, and left the shop.

In just a few months time, Sakura had joined the Akatsuki, trained herself in both medics and fighting, killed both the chef and the waitress who killed the village, and not to mention Sasuke.

Sakura lived a happy life, pillaging towns and villages across the land, crowning herself the name of "Vicious Flower." She is currently planning to take over the world by using a method she had seen called combustive food poisoning.

The End


End file.
